Unless you’ve been actively avoiding the Internet, you’ve probably heard of Bitcoin by now, but what about Bitcoiin? Yes, with two “i’s.” How about Garlicoin? PutinCoin? Because it’s getting progressively easier to make a new cryptocurrency, there are now (as of April 2018) over 1500 of them. Some are very solid projects, some are probably scams, and an enchanting minority are just entertainingly bizarre. Here are eight of the weirdest cryptocurrencies you probably never heard of.
How easy is it to make a cryptocurrency?
Scientifically speaking, making a new cryptocurrency is a bit harder than making toast, but not quite as hard as making a toaster. With a computer, some imagination, and a few hours to spare, almost anyone can make one (results may vary).
Before Ethereum, most new cryptocurrencies (like Litecoin) were built by copy-pasting code from Bitcoin, making a few tweaks, and rebranding. After Ethereum, it got even easier. You can now launch a cryptocurrency with its own unique code that rides on top of the existing Ethereum network.
In short, the barrier to entering crypto is now extremely low. As a result, the Internet has become a much funnier place.
“Baked with our special ingredient, copy/paste.™ Hot out of the oven, and with a boast of features identical to and present in countless other cryptocurrencies.”
Garlicoin was forked (copy-pasted) from Litecoin, and it may or may not have developers working on it. Originally, it was mostly focused on garlic bread, but there seems to have been a community shift towards garlic in general, most likely because it was not originally named “GarlicBreadCoin.”
2. PutinCoin and TrumpCoin
Vladimir Putin and Donald Trump are currently the only world leaders lucky enough to have their own eponymous cryptocurrency, though neither of them is publicly affiliated with their coins. TrumpCoin is specifically meant for advancing Donald Trump’s “Make America Great Again” agenda. PutinCoin doesn’t specify any precise use aside from being good for Russia and presumably helping you ride more bears.
The TrumpCoin FAQ section is worth checking out, if only for entertaining lines like “Why is TrumpCoin called an Alt-Coin?”
3. Useless Ethereum Token
“The world’s first 100% honest Ethereum ICO. No value, no security, and no product. Just me, spending your money.
You can buy it, hold it, and trade it just like any other Ethereum token, but Useless Ethereum Token has absolutely no use and never will. It’s not a scam, but the creator has made it very clear that the purpose of the token is just to get him money, which he will probably spend on televisions. His brutal honesty has netted him around 310 Ether, worth $200,000 USD (April 2018 prices). As the site helpfully points out, that is enough for 167 televisions.
4. Finally Usable Crypto Karma Token [Warning: strong language on site]
Until now, “there has been no universal standard for the valuation of a f***,” but now there is. Thanks to the miracle of cryptocurrencies, everyone in the world now has the power to give a “Finally Usable Crypto Karma.” This is a tongue-in-cheek cryptocurrency focused on tipping – like a more tangible form of “Karma” on Reddit or “Likes” on Facebook. If you see something you like, you can give a “Finally Usable Crypto Karma” about it.
5. Wu-Tang Coin and CREAM
Before you read the title, you probably didn’t know that Wu-Tang Clan had a cryptocurrency, but by the end of this sentence, you’ll know that they actually have two: Wu-Tang Coin and CREAM. When Dirty Coin launches later this year, there will be three. Wu-Tang Coin was created to raise money to buy the secret, one-copy album “Once Upon a Time in Shaolin” and release it to the public. CREAM was founded by Ghostface Killah and named after the Wu-Tang song “C.R.E.A.M (Cash [Crypto] Rules Everything Around Me).” Due to market saturation, however, CREAM is opting to focus more on its network of cryptocurrency ATMs than its coin.
Last but not least, Bitcoiin was started in an effort to make a better Bitcoin by combining elements of Bitcoin with elements of Ethereum. The name was perhaps a poor choice, as Google continually autocorrects it to “Bitcoin,” but they managed to get Steven Seagal on board as their brand ambassador, which … makes it better? As of March 2018, however, the founders and Steven Seagal have left the organization in order to make the cryptocurrency more autonomous.
Conclusion: The Good, the Weird, and the Ugly
Some cryptocurrencies are truly zany affairs, but in my research I came across a lot of coins with relatively serious goals and distinctly odd names. Byteball? ælf? Bottos? Phore? My final takeaway is that a lot of well-meaning cryptocurrency creators need to go into a big, echoey cavern and repeatedly yell the name of their cryptocurrency until they’re sure it doesn’t sound completely bonkers.
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