It probably might not be far from reality to imagine the day that you’d have to say goodbye to the Start button that’s been with us since Windows 95. In fact, you might want to meditate a bit on whether you really want to use Microsoft’s Windows 8, because the company has decided to remove the Start menu from its interface and introduce something else in its place. I don’t know about your reaction, but mine was like, “What the hell is going on with this world?!” Tomorrow, don’t be surprised if you notice some flying pigs and snowy weather near the equator.
So, What Is The Start Menu Being Replaced With?
I don’t know for sure how to explain this to you, but at least I can show you a screenshot of how Windows 8 will look without it:
Notice the missing Start button. This is all courtesy of Microsoft, showing its final build of Windows 8 before the Consumer Preview version. In the Consumer Preview, Windows 8 will be released to the public for evaluation purposes, to see whether the public feels like the change was good, or whether they should just throw Bill Gates into the middle of the ocean.
The new interface will replace the Start button with the “Super Bar,” a version of the taskbar with the word “Super” in it. I suspect it took a whole of 3 minutes to think about that name. Either way, your “Super Bar” interface will just be the average task bar with some hover features added to it, so that when you hover the mouse on the left side of the screen, you end up with the full-fledged menu that you used to get by pressing the “Start” button. The interface redesign is arguably one of the most questionable and I can’t wait to see the public’s reaction to it.
Will The Start Button Come Back?
It’s likely that Microsoft is doing all this crooked redesigning in order to test people’s reaction; it’s also known as corporate trolling. That’s primarily why the released version is called the “Consumer Preview” and not the “Final ‘Take it or Leave it’ Build.” If enough people react adversely (i.e. complaints, seizures, laptop suddenly exploding) to the lack of the button, we’re likely to see the little button return. If Microsoft puts the button back, it’s likely to use a flat button, as opposed to a 3D orb, to match its new Metro interface.
My personal opinion: If they don’t put the button back, you’ll be seeing the same friendship that George Bush had with shoes, except this time it will be Bill Gates at the receiving end of a good rubber sole whacking. It’s up to the public, anyway, to figure this one out. Maybe someone comes up with something more creative to throw, like a tennis racket.
Don’t forget that it’s the Start button we’re talking about, not the Start menu. You’ll still have the menu, but you have to hover your mouse over to the left to access it. Talk about a way to confuse users even further!
Post your comments below, and rant along with me, if you’d like. Or, please let me know how this would, in any case, benefit the newbie who’s never used Windows before.
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